I often get messages on the page, usually from bears in need of advice or support, or just wanting to say Hi and thank me for sharing my ramblings.
This message was a little different. It was from a man in a relationship with a bipolar bear, and he’d written a poem about his partner and what it was like to love someone with this difficult condition.
I will not talk about the poem and what it means, I will allow it to speak for itself, but I felt that this week was an excellent time to post it.
Feeling guilty for wanting the love and affection,
Feeling like there is no hope for that loving touch.
It makes you question everything you do and everything you think
And that’s when you start to sink.
The feeling of never being good enough,
Of not being what that person wants.
Never having the steadiness the stability.
Then comes the realisation you cannot change it,
And would not change it for anything.
As destructive as the love is its also rewarding in it strange twisted way.
For she is like my heroin she is my drug of choice,
My want my need my desires held in one person.
Would I walk away?
Could I walk away?
From the one that has captivated my heart, my body, my soul.
I cannot and will not,
As even thoough there are a lot more bad days than good,
I hold out for that one good day.
The day she can show me her feelings,
The day she’s able to hold my hand.
She holds my heart but can not love it,
But for that one day she cannot help loving it.
These are the days I live for,
When all is okay, it erases the bad days,
And makes the bad days a distant memory.
Until the next bad day then the cloud is back,
And I’m sat here begging for that sun to shine again,
As we move in circles, cycle after cycle,
Wave of emotion after wave we slowly move forward,
To finaly be happy with where we are at.
– Michael Holliman, Bipolar Love – For Wendy