I’m joined on the blog today by fellow Huffington Post blogger and HSP Christine Judd. I recently had a very rough week due to people forgetting to invite me to things, or failing to notice they hadn’t spoken to me properly in while, because I’d stopped bearing the responsibility of always calling them, and left it to them to call me.
It took A YEAR!
During my upset Christine was kind enough to explain to me about Highly Sensitive People, why HSP feel things more deeply than others, and why I was getting upset about something that others hadn’t even noticed.
I believe a lot of Bipolar Bears are Highly Sensitive. Bipolar itself causes us to feel things more deeply, more intensely than others, but we also tend to be very sensitive. We’re easily hurt.
Why Everything Hurts More As A Highly Sensitive Person
Do you know the feeling of always being the one getting in touch with your friends? Being absolutely devastated when they forget to invite you to a party? You automatically conclude that they must not love you very much if they can’t even remember to invite you. Of course you would never tell them how you feel, because why would they care?
Good news? The people around you still love and care about you. They’re just not Highly Sensitive. As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) you feel everything more intensely, you think (and worry) about things a lot more and more often than not, you put other peoples’ needs and feelings ahead of your own. Being a Highly Sensitive Person is not a condition but an innate trait that can be found in about 15-20% of population. It simply means that you’re more aware of subtleties in your surroundings and are more easily overwhelmed and overstimulated. Once you learn more about your trait and understand it better, you’ll be able to interact with your surroundings in a completely different way.
Take the situation I described above and look at it again, knowing you’re a Highly Sensitive Person. You know that you tend to overthink things and feel everything a lot more intensely. You care so deeply for people that you put their needs ahead of your own. In return you expect the same from them.
That’s exactly where the problem lies: your high expectations of others (and yourself) and the fact that they have a different way of thinking. As a Highly Sensitive Person you need to realise that not everyone thinks and feels the way we do.
Other people don’t generally overthink or overanalyse things and don’t put others first. They might not even realise that not texting to see how we are, or forgetting to invite you out, is a big deal and has massive emotional effects on you. They probably just had a lot going on and forgot. They don’t think much of it and most certainly don’t obsess and analyse it. They don’t love you less, they’re just thoughtless and don’t mean anything by it.
Next time you’re in a similar situation, try to adjust your expectations and remember that they’re simply not wired the same way you are. That doesn’t mean you can’t let them know that this is something that bothers and hurts you. Explain your way of thinking and maybe you can find a compromise. Just know that you’re not alone and knowing the way you feel and think will help you navigate in difficult social situations.
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